Top 6 Reasons You Need to Decorate Your Cubicle

obligatory cubicle photo

Straight, Childless, Has Personal Life (Sorta)

If you truly enjoy your job, it’s probably because you have a sense of humor. Today’s post is dedicated to every employee who ever needed a laugh to get through the day, but especially to those who know what it’s like to do time at the cube farm.

Without further ado, here are the top 6 reasons you need to decorate your cube, like, pronto.

If you don’t decorate your cubicle, one of your prank-pulling co-workers will.

Remember that one time Kate left for a doctor’s appointment, and when she came back someone had pinned photos of a shirtless Mark Paul Gosselaar to her cube walls?

Although personal decorations aren’t 100% effective at preventing such tragedies, their removal adds a level of difficulty, forcing the prankster to re-evaluate whether the stunt is actually worth it.

Decorate, and your boss will automatically assume you’re in it for the long haul.

Simply install a Dilbert calendar, a photo of your cat, and a few paperweights, and then delight in your boss’s false sense of security as he tells his boss, “This one is going to stay. She really likes it here, I can tell.” And, who knows, with your boss a little more relaxed, you might actually want to stay.

You can get sick, come to work, and still feel like you’re resting at home.

So you’re still hourly and you don’t get paid sick leave? No biggie, just buy one of those pretty boxes of Kleenex like you have on your nightstand.

For over-the-top comfort, plug a vaporizer into your power strip and hang up one of those classy, adhesive 3M hooks for that moment your fever breaks and you no longer need the Snuggie.

Your co-workers will have an easier time making assumptions about your personal life.

Married? Single? Gay? Straight? Children? Pets? Christian? Branch Davidian? One framed photo can answer all of these questions and more, giving that guy in accounting the green light to make the off-color joke he’s been holding onto since you started.

Other items that make stereotyping a breeze include Glee screensavers, crosses of any kind, Tribbles, and four or more iPhone accessories located within the same two-foot radius.

You won’t mistake your cubicle for Brad’s cubicle.

At least not again, because—oh em gee—all of these things do look the same. It’s not your fault the only thing differentiating your cubicle from Brad’s is an extra layer of keyboard plaque. You’re new here. What’s Brad’s excuse?

To easily find your place in the maze, go for that one item no one else has—maybe a Doom mouse pad, a snow globe from Door County, Wisconsin, or an autographed photo of Jim Neighbors.

Now tell me what’s in your cube. (Or show me by attaching a photo to your comment).

Photo credit: ba1969

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0 thoughts on “Top 6 Reasons You Need to Decorate Your Cubicle

  1. This is a great little post. But your workplace — hourly, no health insurance, etc — sounds a bit slavish. But it’s good you can make your cubicle a home away from home. And if that’s your beux in the picture (I’m only assuming) he’s a strapping lass.  Have you visited my new blog? http://elysiansidetrip.tumblr.com/

    • Yep, that’s my Dan. And I made my 90 days probation at work, so I’m racking up some time off and will have benefits beginning August 1. It’s getting better all the time. Plus, this post is inspired by a number of different workplaces. I’ve had a lot of jobs in past decade!

  2. Kisma says:

    haha.. GREAT POST. The cube world in which I live, I share with what I have posted about in the past, as my crazy cubie. There are days where her life is in danger. I have a Maxine Calender on my desk, several photos of the family and that still doesn’t keep the office creeper away… although he’s entertaining.

    Love this!!!!

  3. I actually decorated my cubicle with some posters that had stock photography on them reflecting my mood…in an attempt to keep people out when I’m grumpy.Worked for awhile, but not now. boo!

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